I was completely paralyzed after two miscarriages. The taste for living life is declining day by day. But I could not cal

living life is declining day by day. But I could not calm down the second time the same thing happened. I don’t know why I felt like God didn’t write a mother’s taste on my forehead. My husband Ahnaf is also scared. Men are human, so they can’t even cry. My father-in-law’s father, and my cousin also have a dark shadow. I couldn’t look at anyone. I feel so cursed.

I was sent home from the hospital two days later. The last time I had a miscarriage, everyone comforted me, especially Ahnaf. The man closed the office for 7 days and sat down next to me and trusted me. If he had not been there I would have died from the service, I stopped eating. Ahnaf this would have fed me. My father-in-law and mother-in-law were also by my side as much as I could. It’s easier to get out of any situation when family members are next to you, so it has happened to me.

Second, when I became pregnant, the whole family took good care of me, and there was no shortage of love and care. No one lets me do any work. 1 years after my 1st child miscarriage I got pregnant again At this time I was also very careful, I used to tell Allah that you are not shedding my thigh now, God. I just prayed this in the yard of God every day sitting in prayer. But I do not know what sin Allah has punished me for, and that is twice as much. I wanted to kill myself, but I could not do it for fear of sin. After returning from the hospital, everyone changed in some way. My happy family has been somewhat dull. My mother went home to me for 15 days. I am perfectly fine at the time.

Ahnaf is a little quieter, he doesn’t talk to me like he used to, he doesn’t laugh. Do not want to talk without great need. If you go to bed at night, you come back. I understand Ahnaf’s pain, so I say nothing to her. My father-in-law and mother-in-law are now like this. I didn’t care about this, I was focusing on the family in my own way. I used to cry in the yard of Allah every night at midnight in prayer. I have no one else, who will understand my pain. Sometimes the sound of crying reached Ahnaf’s ears, and he often fell asleep in a fit of rage. I thought I had moved away from Ahnaf’s life at least a little bit. I hope that one day everything will be all right.

After about six months I suddenly wake up at night. When I look at the time, I see that it is the first hour of the night. In the living room, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and Ahnaf were saying something, I heard the words.

– You marry another father, this wife cannot give you the freedom to be a father. You see, 2 kids are spoiled in a row.

– But mom I love you Tanni. There is nothing wrong with that, if Allah does not want to, then tell us what to do.

Realizing what was happening, I sat up in bed and began to cry. Will Ahnaf understand me? Or will you change with him? I can’t beat Ahnaf. I will make her understand, raise the child if necessary. Still, I will not leave my family.

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